Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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