I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
