but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
