Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
