Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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