I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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