Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
