I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
