and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
