Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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