I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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