Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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