Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
