Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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