Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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