It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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