There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
