how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
