The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
