oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize