he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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