i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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