I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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