I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
