Small penises have feelings too.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize