Soap is not a condiment
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
