I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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