we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
