I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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