if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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