Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
