I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
