Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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