Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
