My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
