Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
