we're blogging at a bar
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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