For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
