Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
