would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
