I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
pray to the hookup gods
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize