I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
