Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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