yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
