so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
