I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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