i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize