o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Welp...herpes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
