I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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