Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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