I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
