do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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