my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Girls should come with a carfax report
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
