it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
