I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
