I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
As shirtless as possible
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
