So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
