Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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