and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
