i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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