her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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