definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
