Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
