I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
