I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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