At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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