8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
