It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
