man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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