i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
